Take one method and play with it for at least 3 days. If it gives you a certain feeling of affinity, if it gives you a certain feeling of well-being, if it gives you a certain feeling that this is for you, then be serious about it.
Osho, The Book of Secrets, Ch 1
With these words, Osho encourages us to explore the 112 meditation techniques from The Book of Secrets. The blog post below is part of a series of chats with people, who travelled the path with one of the meditations for a longer period of time. Here is the second story. It is about finding the right meditation and being with it.
It’s a quite some years ago; I was living in an Osho Commune buzzing with events and lots of people. It was a kind of extroverted time in my life. I was amazed by the multitude of methods in the Book of Secrets, and wanted to explore them – not really with the idea that I would find “the one” for me, but rather guided by a sense of playfulness and curiosity. I took my time, looked at the pictures on the cards for the meditations, read Osho’s words, and went on exploring. I loved that there were so many pathways to go inside. But when I came to the card showing a Zen monk in a boat on a lake and an empty boat next to it, something happened.
First of all, I was struck by the beauty of the picture. Then I read the sutra: When a mood against someone or for someone arises, do not place it on the person in question, but remain centered. Against – and for? This was unexpected. Something about the statement resonated with me in a way that I couldn’t get out of my mind. Or was it my heart? Maybe it touched something even deeper. The card told me that it was possible to take all that outgoing energy – and all of it, not just negative but also positive reactions – and take it back inside. It was a revelation for me.
Life provided lots of opportunities for me to be for and against someone: in close relationships, at work, in my family, or more. Remembering the sutra opened the door to move inside. It calmed me down and soothed my nerves. This remembrance became a companion to me. Sometimes I forgot about it, but it kept on reappearing: sometimes triggered by words of Osho, through Zen stories, and also through the picture of the meditation that I had put up on the wall of my room.
I didn’t follow a structure or schedule. It was more a case of “remember, when you remember”. Something deep inside of me had strongly connected with the technique, and I trusted that. But doubts accompanied me as well. Sometimes I wondered if I had ever understood what going inside meant. Voices inside my head told me in no uncertain terms that I wasn’t moving forward on my spiritual path. Was I stuck? These doubts could become painfully loud. Was I really doing enough?
Listening to Osho helped me respond to these doubts. I learned to look at those doubts without giving them too much energy. Yes, they were there and it was enough to acknowledge them. More soul searching wasn’t needed. And then there were those small moments, when the sutra spoke to me again: … do not place it on the person in question, but remain centered. And the stillness inside was a reality.
Over time, my connection to this meditation withered away. It moved to the background of my life touching me only once in a while. But not long ago, I’ve rediscovered it. Through my work I am in contact with lots of people. Remembering the sutra about watching your moods helps me to stay centered and not lose myself into being against or for someone.
You can find Osho’s commentary on this meditation in chapter 15 and 16 of The Book of Secrets.